Watching Dave channel on either Freesat or Freeview, we in the UK are constantly subjected to a series of ads for a beer called Old Speckled Hen. In each, a real live fox happens upon various situations and says something like, "It's different, but it's not a Hen".
In one such, he encounters an attractive female contortionist face down on a snooker table, her weight supported by her upper chest/shoulders, and with her legs arched over from behind and her feet on the baize either side of her head. From here, she cues up a shot (the red goes in, followed by the white if you ask me)
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2943145/contortionist_snooker_player_old_speckled_hen/
I can't help feeling I should be having lustful thoughts about the young lady. I should probably be also craving a pint of the Hen.
I like pretty ladies who can do the splits (especially the one that visited Hastings a couple of years ago with the Chinese State Circus). And I like beer. I even like foxes.
But all I can think when I see this ad is that the rules of snooker clearly state that a shot is a foul if it is played without at least one foot on the floor.
Is that so wrong?
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
Monday, 22 June 2009
Why be nice if we're not saved?
Well people, my first ever blog. I'll steam straight in, I think.
There are certain programmes on BBC Radio 4 that leave me cold. Woman's Hour, more often than not, will get switched off, especially if Jenny Murray is presenting (the new girl, Jane Garvey, is not so bad). The Archers - don't get me started on The Archers. If I even hear a snatch of the theme tune before I get to the 'off' switch then I consider the day ruined. A drama about real people with real problems, the main problems being the acting and the script.
But there is a show called Beyond Belief that, by rights, should never pollute my ears wot wiv my intolerant vews, like. I might argue that as a father, who views religion as one of the biggest ideological problems facing humanity right now, it is my duty to try and understand different views as best I can, and therefore be in a better position to argue my viewpoint from an informed position. Well, I might, but the truth is that I find it an irresistible listen, a festival of po-faced piousness and claptrap that is compelling in the way, I suppose, that other people (not me, mind!)couldn't resist following Jade Goodie's death.
Ernie Rea, the presenter, usually picks his way through the minefield of mutually-exclusive superstitions on parade with the greatest of care, always keen to highlight 'common ground'. Today, however, he had to deal with the Calvinists. I'll leave you to look up the details of this lot, but you should know that a Calvinist, when asked on the show if Jews and Muslims were damned (I'm paraphrasing), replied that because that is what The Bible tells her (i.e there is no way to heaven except through Christ) then that is what she believes. For a moment, Ernie exhibited the redeeming feature of clearly finding this rather appalling, but then he puts the following conundrum to one of his studio guests (paraphrasing again):
If I am damned for being in the wrong religion, then what is my motivation to be good while I am on Earth?
Now, you may be thinking that this is a good bit of provocative interviewing, Devil's advocate, if you will, but I urge you to listen to the show
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00l0xxd/Beyond_Belief_22_06_2009/
as I got the feeling the question was asked with genuine incredulity that there was any other reason to be good than a person's personal salvation in the afterlife. Even if the question was asked on behalf of a section of the show's audience, I am disgusted that it needs to asked. To me (here comes the ranty bit), this was an inadvertent revelation (!) of the mindset of a certain type of moderate believer. Yes, I will be giving, and tolerant, and loving, as long as it guarantees my salvation.
Well, Ernie, what about me, with nothing to look forward to except eternal death with no afterlife? Is not the smile on the face of my daughter reward enough? Or the grateful wave of a stranger when I let them into the stream of traffic on the way home from work?
That smile, or that wave, is worth more in the fleeting seconds of its existence than your wretched, self-serving, so-called eternal soul and those of your misguided guests.
Damn you all. And thanks for a cracking show.
You have been reading the thoughts of The GodBotherer. Please comment.
There are certain programmes on BBC Radio 4 that leave me cold. Woman's Hour, more often than not, will get switched off, especially if Jenny Murray is presenting (the new girl, Jane Garvey, is not so bad). The Archers - don't get me started on The Archers. If I even hear a snatch of the theme tune before I get to the 'off' switch then I consider the day ruined. A drama about real people with real problems, the main problems being the acting and the script.
But there is a show called Beyond Belief that, by rights, should never pollute my ears wot wiv my intolerant vews, like. I might argue that as a father, who views religion as one of the biggest ideological problems facing humanity right now, it is my duty to try and understand different views as best I can, and therefore be in a better position to argue my viewpoint from an informed position. Well, I might, but the truth is that I find it an irresistible listen, a festival of po-faced piousness and claptrap that is compelling in the way, I suppose, that other people (not me, mind!)couldn't resist following Jade Goodie's death.
Ernie Rea, the presenter, usually picks his way through the minefield of mutually-exclusive superstitions on parade with the greatest of care, always keen to highlight 'common ground'. Today, however, he had to deal with the Calvinists. I'll leave you to look up the details of this lot, but you should know that a Calvinist, when asked on the show if Jews and Muslims were damned (I'm paraphrasing), replied that because that is what The Bible tells her (i.e there is no way to heaven except through Christ) then that is what she believes. For a moment, Ernie exhibited the redeeming feature of clearly finding this rather appalling, but then he puts the following conundrum to one of his studio guests (paraphrasing again):
If I am damned for being in the wrong religion, then what is my motivation to be good while I am on Earth?
Now, you may be thinking that this is a good bit of provocative interviewing, Devil's advocate, if you will, but I urge you to listen to the show
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00l0xxd/Beyond_Belief_22_06_2009/
as I got the feeling the question was asked with genuine incredulity that there was any other reason to be good than a person's personal salvation in the afterlife. Even if the question was asked on behalf of a section of the show's audience, I am disgusted that it needs to asked. To me (here comes the ranty bit), this was an inadvertent revelation (!) of the mindset of a certain type of moderate believer. Yes, I will be giving, and tolerant, and loving, as long as it guarantees my salvation.
Well, Ernie, what about me, with nothing to look forward to except eternal death with no afterlife? Is not the smile on the face of my daughter reward enough? Or the grateful wave of a stranger when I let them into the stream of traffic on the way home from work?
That smile, or that wave, is worth more in the fleeting seconds of its existence than your wretched, self-serving, so-called eternal soul and those of your misguided guests.
Damn you all. And thanks for a cracking show.
You have been reading the thoughts of The GodBotherer. Please comment.
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